I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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