I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
