Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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