Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the condom got lost in my hair
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
