If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize