I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
