Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
where does the pee come out of this thing
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
When are your genitals available?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
