so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
