its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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