My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
