im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
it's like heaven, but drunker
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
