so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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