You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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