Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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