My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's just like the Real World with babies
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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