Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
