its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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