sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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