so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
