No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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