I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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