I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
