I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
