i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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