WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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