Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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