Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
