Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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