Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
