shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
