dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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