I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
