This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
