It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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