he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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