lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
