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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  wow.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah, it was that bad.

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• (714): View more from California

  Ikea night.

  (949): View more from California

  ?

  (714): View more from California

  Insert tab A into swedish slot B

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Way to ruin everything

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.

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• (585): View more from New York

  shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day

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• (631): View more from New York

  the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....

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