Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
