You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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