i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
