I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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