I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
