Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
