Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
why is half of my head shaved?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
