I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
