it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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