this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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