I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
