Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
