I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
