I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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