took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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