Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize