well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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