she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize